OK, OK, OK I get it! You all want updated photos and some witty monologue chronicling the adventures of the McTwins and there hapless exhausted parents.
Hmmm, what has happened in the past month? Not a lot of quality sleep that is for certain. I hate to be a negative nilly from sector 7G but man... I would love to sleep for more than 4 hours at a time. The little monsters have on rare occasions slept for nearly 5 hours at a time. This gave Mary and I the opportunity to do something we have been waiting to do for sometime before the birth... dream. But never more than once every 19 days.
Any how, on with the bloggin’:
Allow me to recap...
Oct.1 - 7
Massive diaper changing activities as the babies continue to eat every 2-3 hours. Parents still getting little sleep become battle weary. Auntie Laci came out to visit and cook for us... It was great to see Laci, although in an effort to calm the crying babies Laci decided that walking around with them singing, sounded like a good idea. While this proved to be a successful calming technique, it also opened pandora’s box... see next weeks recap.
Oct. 8 - 14
Laci left and our diets took a nosedive... as mentioned above Laci’s walking/bouncing/singing routine had negative repercussions... our children felt entitled to be bounced and sung to 23 hours a day. Thanks Laci... while effective, the LWBSM (Laci-walking-bouncing-singing-maneuver) proved to be very inefficient. So we abandoned the LWBSM and resumed the bouncy-boppy-swing shuffle...
Oct. 15 - 21
Back on track... we weaned the little monkeys off the Laci maneuver. They even started to eat more and subsequently sleep a bit more. By more I mean 2.5 - 3.5 hours, nice but still not enough for mom & dad to really settle in to some good ol’ fashioned REM sleep. I would love to wake up startled from one of those dreams you have when you think you are in a grocery store shopping for eggplants and mothballs and you suddenly realize you are naked... thats a good dream.
Oct. 22 - 27
In the words of Mr. Rogers; “Can you say constipation? I knew you could.” Yup, with the increase in eating the kiddos are starting to become more efficient with their digestion, which means less dirty diapers. Now to the untrained eye, errr nose, this may seem like a good thing. Not having to change a poopy diaper 642 times a day is pretty nice... but, a decrease in quantity gives way to an increase in quality... if you want to call it that. Grace, being a McCorkle took that to an extreme.
We went in for their 2 month check up with one of two concerns; our daughter hadn’t pooped in almost a week. The pediatrician said to try a little prune juice and if all else fails try a glycerine suppository if the BM didn’t come after about 6 days. Sure enough Grace pushed her colon to the limit and we had to go the suppository route. Unsure of the effects of the greasy opaque little bullet, we waited patiently... and then, within 15 minutes Grace recreated Hiroshima, Nagasaki and the Bikini Atoll right between her little hamburger bun butt cheeks. The foul stench of death overtook the house... and then peace reigned throughout the land.
Our second concern for the pediatrician was the alien that was attempting to hatch out of Adam’s abdomen. Apparently it is pretty common for preemies to develop outties, a herniated umbilicus, if they strain too much... say from crying (see next week for more details). I have seen outties before... Adam does not have an outtie, he has an un-prophetic Quato growing from his stomach. If you are saying to yourself, “What the hell is a quato?” Click here - QUATO
I will get a good picture of it one of these days... I am just afraid to make it mad.
Oct. 28 - present
The NICU at the hospital sponsors an annual Halloween festival/reunion for all the past NICU babies. We put the little monkeys in their pea pod outfits and paraded them around like prize winning labradoodles. It was fun.
Which brings us to the present. We started implementing a new bedtime procedure this week. Around 7pm we head upstairs, get the kids calm and quietly lay them down for sweet dreams... then we run like hell downstairs shutting the door behind us. This is when our sweet beautiful little miracles become fire breathing demons. Adam usually starts, sounding like a Piper Cub sputtering down the runway laboring to take off. Then he reaches speed and opens ‘er up! Adam’s frail little body produces the most shrill, blood curdling cry ever. It reverberates through your bones and punishes the most seasoned tympanic membrane. Grace on the other hand just sounds pissed off, crying with a low guttural growl until she works her self up to the point where no sound escapes and she just lays there, mouth agape, beat red... gurgling . I am sure our neighbors think that we poke our kids each evening with white hot steel pokers until they go unconscious.
Thankfully the caterwauling doesn’t last for more than a half an hour or so... and once again there is peace throughout the land.
There we go... the past month summarized neatly for your edification.
rob
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